Is it weird that the changing leaves bum me out?

I’m from the south, heart and soul- I have never lived through the seasons. I’ve lived in the non-stop Florida sun and our “winters”. I’ve lived in New York in the snow and slush. But I’ve never lived through the seasons, watched the leaves change, fall off and disappear. This marks a first for me-every tree is the most beautiful shades of yellow, orange and red, its incredible. I want to pause it, stop it, tell it to hold off- beat back the inevitable snow and bitter cold thats coming. The most important person I want by my side isn’t here to appreciate it with me. He left in the summer, when 85 degree days meant tanks ruled our wardrobe. When he comes back there will be snow on the ground. I’ll have lived through an entire season without my best friend and something about that is so unsettling. 

Not well composed, eloquent or completely thorough but so much has changed in such short time so here it is…

A month ago today I was sitting in my bedroom in New York, just graduated and very confused about my future and what was next. 30 days later I am sitting in Alex and I’s loft home (on our sweet new couch), surrounded by all of our old things and (a handful) of new ones in Philadelphia, PA. (pictures to come!)

What happened between then and now? What didn’t happen? We were in Tampa, Tallahassee and everywhere between FL and PA, four flights, one uhaul, a trailer, approximately 2.3 (mental) breakdowns, traffic jams, losing our dream home, 2 days later getting our dream home, couch surfing and finally settling into our first (real) place.

I now work at URBN (Urban Outfitters Inc.) at the headquarters in the Navy Yards. I am so glad I took the plunge (and the job), I am so grateful for the incredibly supportive man who didn’t blink at the idea of moving our lives across the country. Working at Urbn has been a dream- it is such a creative, warm environment with so much success and room to grow up and within the company, everyone’s opinion matters and is taken seriously, there’s so much energy, change, etc. It doesn’t hurt that the grounds are gorgeous and the benefits are endless. I wake up in the morning stoked to go to work.

Philly is so much more than I imagined; a mash up of all of my favorite places. So much history, culture, music, art. A big little city of neighborhoods. The city of brotherly love (though the liquor laws will take some getting used to). We live in Northern Liberties, a charming (young) neighborhood.

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Alex and the boys are on their first warped and killing it. I am so incredibly proud of them; the future is is very bright- full of firsts and experiences I know Alex could only dream of a few years ago.  I miss them and all of our Tallahassee family terribly, my chest feels tight thinking about everyone, their shenanigans, bbq’s, their faces and the sense of home.

In some ways Alex being gone is harder, it is our home, we found it together, fought to get it and moved every lick of furniture/belongings in without anyone’s help- and now I am alone in it. In other ways it is easier; I am surrounded by him, there is such permanence (finally!) here. Everything is changing (for the better) and fast, we’re going in a million directions physically and growth-wise, it’s so comforting knowing that this is where we land at the end of everything, our constant, home.

Up next: Fourth of July. A week at Warped with the boys mid-July. End of warped! Dad visit in September. Thanksgiving at our place (c’mon bub!).

“I never knew how capable I would become”

from the internet was taken.

but I am back- in new york, to the grind, on the internet, in black (ha).

every single job application and interview have asked me for my “url”- people assume that everyone has a blog now, it is taken as seriously as your resume, it is insane. So I will try to be more proactive with mine.

my time in Florida was everything I wanted it to be. I already miss it, the familiar (beautiful) faces of my friends and family, waking up next to Alex, the humidity, the natty lights and driving (who’d of thought?).

dream job interview this Thursday, shaking in my boots. It would mean yet another move, but one that I am more than willing to make- a friend of a friend said something that I already knew but needed to hear the other night- nothing is permanent, nothing is the end-all be-all, if you don’t like where you are in a year, change, move. it is that simple.

truth.